She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
