I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
