i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
