Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
we're so committed to being not committed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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