So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
