my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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