I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
