My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
