Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
