you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Drake has all the answers
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
