My brain says no but my pants say off.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
