i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
