i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
