wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
