You smell like a Billy Joel song
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
