Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
