I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
