I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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