I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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