I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
