I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize