it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize