is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So much rum. So many feels.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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