I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize