Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes