Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's a liquor store near my therapist

(617): View more from Massachusetts

i might give it a shot.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"

(612): View more from Minnesota

Drunk you is pretty stunner.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain

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(618): View more from Illinois

I could tell my life story through kermit memes

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