Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
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It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.