Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?