I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
