Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
