If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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