My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
