i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Acid is not a monday night drug
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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