Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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