3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The air was thick with penises
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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