I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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