Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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