Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
