It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
of course. lets lasso hookers.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
