I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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