Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize