I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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