I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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