Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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