You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
