I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
