if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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