The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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