Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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