Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
