If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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