Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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