I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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