after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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