addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can't special order awesome
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
