Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
