So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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