I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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