Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
