I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
