whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize