My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize