Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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