It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize