Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
